When Everything Feels Like It’s Never Enough.

A quiet look at faithfulness, exhaustion, and why doing more never seems to be enough.

The amount of work I do, the amount of time I give, the amount of money I make, the amount of exercise I get, the number of supplements I take, the time I spend on housework, or the effort I put into my business. 

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything right and it’s still not enough, you’re not alone. 

I was just having this conversation with a friend. She went to the doctor. She already works in her garden, walks two or three times a week, and does weight training. From all appearances, she is healthy. What was the doctor’s response? Add HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) 6 times a week! 

We’re in our late 50’s/early 60’s. Is this seriously the baseline of what is expected? 

This doesn’t include the number of hours she spends at work or the weight of the responsibility she carries for her family.

She and I commiserated on how it feels like we push ourselves in all of these directions, yet there always seems to be more required to be doing it ‘right’.  We talked about the mental exhaustion of it all.  

Do you ever feel this way?

Does the heavy weight of your responsibilities cause not only physical exhaustion but also mental exhaustion? 

I hear you!

And then there’s this – slowing down or stopping feels like a luxury. And when we do actually take a break, either because we have to (because our bodies demand it) or we choose to, the pressure to get back up and go is so much that we can almost not relax. 

Is this resonating with you? 

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned to be this way. We grew up in the era of extreme expectations on women – delivered to us in doses… everything from the pew to the perfume we bought. 

Remember the jingle for the perfume commercial from the early ‘80’s? 

“I can bring home the bacon, 

Fry it up in a pan, 

And never, never, never let you forget you’re a man, 

‘Cause I’m a woman”…Enjoli. 

So the messaging that settled into our hearts was this: we were expected to have successful careers, contribute financially, and care for our families. Once the dishes from dinner were cleaned, we were told we must then ensure our husbands aren’t emasculated by this expectation placed on us as women. Hold it all together seamlessly.

If this one commercial was the only messaging we received, we could write it off as clever marketing and move on. However, we could each name multiple ways we were quietly and not so quietly influenced by that narrative. 

The unintended consequence of that messaging is that what may have begun as seasonal obedience became a permanent identity. 

And identities like that don’t unwind easily. 

Not only did women believe these expectations, but they also became the norm. 

So when a doctor suggests adding six additional workouts a week to an already full life, it doesn’t sound outrageous – it sounds expected 

“Cuz she’s a woman.” 

One of the things that I love about God’s Word is that it’s for everyone. 

So when Jesus says in Mark 6:31 to His disciples, “Come, let’s take a break and find a secluded place where you can rest a while,” He knew that we would get tired from all of the serving. 

This includes us. 

And if Jesus Himself had to withdraw to rest, it’s not a failure if we need to as well. 

I feel like I speak as nearly an expert in this ‘not enough’ space. 

A few months ago, I felt a nudge to open an old journal. As I flipped through the pages, I stopped on an entry dated April 16, 1996. 

Thirty years have passed since I wrote that entry. 

And there it was – I was asking God to help me because I didn’t feel like I was enough, didn’t do enough, didn’t know enough…  

This lie has been buried in me for a really long time. 

And if I’m honest, I still wrestle with it today. 

I’d like to blame it on the Engjoli commercial…and I’m probably not that far off if I do.

Because if everything isn’t enough, then something underneath it is off. 

In my most influential years, I learned that I needed to offer maximum effort. 

But what happens when all of that effort isn’t enough? 

Eventually, there is nothing more to give. 

And then we arrive at something even more subtle…

There’s actually no definition of ‘enough’. 

It’s simply… do more. 

And now we’re back to my friend, trying to figure out where 6 additional workouts are supposed to fit into her already busy and active schedule. 

So, when there is no finish line, no clear ‘this is enough’ – then we don’t know when to stop, 

We don’t rest. 

We don’t step out of responsibility. 

And over time, we are no longer included in what we’re stewarding. 

Our needs begin to fade.

Our presence in our own lives gets quieter. 

Our awareness of ourselves slowly slips into the background. 

But this was never a message Jesus intended for us. 

Our ‘never enough’ is built on what we can produce… what we can carry… what we can sustain on our own. 

But Scripture tells a different story. 

…in Christ you have been brought to fullness… Colossians 2:10 NIV 

And when Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:9, that God’s grace is sufficient… 

more than enough…

It shifts the weight completely.

Not ONTO us…

But OFF of us.

Writing this has made me confront my own ‘not enough.’ 

And I’ve had to face the fact that the way I’ve been considering this…may not be the only way to be faithful. 

That there is a way to remain deeply responsible without slowly removing myself in the process.

If you feel needed and responsible but also tired and unclear, you’re not alone. 

And you know what else? 

You are not outside of what God is tending to.

Warmest Regards,

Jennifer Edwards

P.S. I’d like to offer you a prompt for prayer, processing, or journaling:

Where do you feel the tension between the ‘not enough’ messaging and the truth of Colossians 2:10 NIV and 2 Corinthians 12:9? 

What is the best step in your life to begin to lean towards scripture and away from incorrect messaging?